just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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