Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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