He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
this just has baby written all over it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
where are my eyebrows?
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