Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
