i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
