you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
