So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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