Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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