If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
birth control should be required to get into college
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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