She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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