Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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