the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
