Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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