well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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