just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
