Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out