if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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