Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
