my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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