Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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