I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
