Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize