He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
