So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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