before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
