what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
