How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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