I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
