There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
