Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
