So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
