I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
