New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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