even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
