I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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