this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
