"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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