He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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