I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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