I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
