i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
