Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
no, he came in my armpit
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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