I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
