why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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