I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
