I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
