Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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