i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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