I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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