Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
