I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
