i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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