Welp...herpes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
