Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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