did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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